I was talking with someone the other day and noticed how often he glanced at his Apple Watch. Each glance only lasted a second, but each one pulled a little more of him out of our conversation. Before long, I wondered whether he was really hearing me or just waiting for the next alert. Then it hit me: I do the same thing with my phone. When it buzzes, I feel obligated to look right away. I lose my train of thought, and frankly, the person across from me can tell. Whatever I intend, the message I send is that someone who isn’t in the room matters more than the one who is. What can I (and you) do about this cell phone obsession?

1. Remind myself that most messages can wait. 

A notification may feel urgent, but it rarely needs an answer that very second. The text will still be there in twenty minutes. The person in front of me may not be.

2. Silence my phone before a meeting or conversation. 

If I know I’ll be tempted to check it, I can turn it face down, put it in my pocket, or leave it in the car. Removing the temptation is easier than resisting it every time it lights up.

3. Listen especially well when someone shares a burden. 

A fellow pastor, a friend, or a family member may be telling me something that took courage to say. They may have rehearsed it for days. That is a moment to set every distraction aside, look them in the eye, and let them finish.

4. Keep phones away from the table when I’m with family. 

Meals are one of the few times we sit face-to-face and talk. I don’t want my family and grandchildren to remember me as the one who was always looking down at a screen. Those conversations won’t come back around.

5. Choose set times to check messages and answer emails. 

I can be responsible about responding without letting every buzz decide what I do next. Checking at set times actually makes me more responsive, because I give each message real thought instead of a rushed reply.

6. Let the day come to an end. 

Using Sleep Focus at bedtime tells my mind the day is finished. Rest is part of how God made us, and I serve people better the next morning when I haven’t spent the night half awake answering emails and scrolling.

James writes, “Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger” (James 1:19). I can’t be quick to hear if part of my attention is waiting on the next notification. Attention is one of the simplest ways to love someone, and one of the easiest to withhold without noticing. The next time my phone buzzes in the middle of a conversation, I want to let it wait, turn toward the person God has placed in front of me, and listen the way Jesus did.